I can tell by your lack of attention.  No texting no calling.  Yeah, we hung out on Saturday went to dinner and watched a movie.  But today there was nothing.  I start a new job on Wednesday, that’s when I think I’ll know.  Maybe you’ll send me a good luck text like I did to you.  Are you thinking I’m too needy?  Am I being too clingy?

Tomorrow I’m waking up early just to get a head start and a practice run in for the new commute downtown from Reston to Washington D.C.  I’ll drive just up the road from you to the Wiehle Park & Ride.  Have you ever taken the 505?  I hope my SmartTrip has a couple bucks to get me to the station.  If I remember correctly the amount will be deducted if the funds aren’t there.  Has this ever happened to you?

I don’t think you go downtown too often. Maybe this will change if I move there and you are still digging me.  We could have brunch and you could stay for the weekend.  Bring up your dog, Aubrey.

I think I know your birthday.  I looked it up online.  I saw that it’s November 28th.  Are you thinking about our plans?  Do you know yet what you will be doing?  I don’t have plans on my birthday.  It’s too far away.  I’m thinking gross foods.  What do you think?  I mean if we’re dating I’ll have to arrange something.  Or maybe, I’ll just pretend to be heading to New York City.

No, I can’t do that.  Why, because that would be crazy - planning things that can’t be planned already. Nobody ever really wants to go out for my birthday.  Maybe you will though.  This can be different.

I’m sorry if I burned you before.  I just wasn’t ready.  I didn’t want someone who was mature I was thinking about him just like you may be thinking about her.  Did she dump you?  Break your heart into pieces and through them at the wall like cooks do to test the doneness of spaghetti?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately with my idle mind brewing.  I haven’t had a grasp on me enough.  Has this happened to you, too?  What does it mean to have a good time with someone new?

I’m pretty serious as a person with an old soul inside.  I have a depth to me that many may try to avoid.  I over analyze.  I think too much into things.  It’s a hurdle in starting new things.  With you I feel comfortable and I want to open up but not rush things.  Am I just the rebound a quick lay to help you get to the next day?  I don’t want to be these things.  I’d rather just know if you aren’t that into me.

But, I think you are.  You talk about me.  I know this.  But when you are around me your quiet and I think your palms are probably sweaty.  I don’t have the butterflies yet because I just usually don’t.  I lack an ability to love and be loved.  I’m working on it.  Will you pull this out of me?  Can you show me the new way of being?  The loving and nurturing, empathetic and willing.

Tell me already.  Text me already.  Chat with me already.  Don’t be scared of me already.  I’m independent and courageous.  A risk taker who will plunge with the person that’s just right.  I’m Goldilocks and I’m waiting.  I’m waiting to be ready.  Just tell me already if you’re not that into me.

He’d had texted if he could.  I didn’t.  I texted you after midnight.  I was out.  He asked me to dinner.

We had plans.  I’m not tied to you.  Is that what you want?  Are you lonely?

I don’t think I can fill your hole.  I’ll probably see if you want to meet at the pond tomorrow for egg sandwiches.

How does that sound?

I can give it a go.  It’s called keeping options open.  Don’t be not open to it.  I don’t think you have anything to do.

I lied to you.  I wasn’t out with the family for dinner and a movie.

I had a movie night with him and dinner too.

Sorry I lied to you.  I don’t want to hurt you.  It’s not in me.

Am I leading you on?

I did lie to you.